The Dumbest Thing You Ever Heard, Part 1
By Mike Farris, Esq.
Added Sunday, November 05, 2006
My recent column requesting "dumb statements" people had made regarding home schooling yielded a bumper crop of lols (laugh out loud) and a few rofls (rolling on the floor laughing). I got a great number of wonderful entries -- far too many to publish. Today's column is the first of two. Here are half of the top entries, this week's winner, and my comments interspersed.
Here come the comments!
From Kara Becker:
Our realtor learned we were home schooling. She commented about the lack of social development that would result, but tried to still be positive by adding, "Even though they couldn't be realtors, thank goodness that there are lot of jobs out there which don't require people skills."
Mike: Thank you, Dale Carnegie (author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People").
From the Austin family:
A stranger said, "Don't you think your children are being deprived of the thrill of buying school supplies at Wal-Mart when everyone else does?"
From Angela Blackman:
A friend who is a paralegal at a very busy law firm said, "How can you ever think you can keep up with having four kids at home? Don't they just run you off your feet? I'd be exhausted by the end of the day."
Mike: It is a proven fact that assisting two lawyers is the equivalent of having six kids or else tending a dozen snakes -- depending on the age of the lawyer.
From Pamela Minerd:
My father asked, "Will I have to bail you out of jail for this?"
From MDT:
My neighbor was picking my brain about getting the public school to challenge her first grader. She was concerned because my first grader was already reading while her son of the same age was just learning the sounds of letters. Nonetheless she challenged my home schooling saying my son would still miss out. "It's important for him socially too. He needs to be offered drugs so he can turn them down."
From Marci Zinn:
A family member said, "You are just doing this for yourself so you won't have to buy the kids any school clothes."
Mike: Working 8+ hours a day for 12+ years just smacks of selfishness if you ask me.
From MDT:
A friend asked, "Do you use books?"
From Rose Mary Coffey:
When my husband told his mother that we were going to home school, she replied, "What makes Rose Mary think she has the right to teach my grandchildren?"
Mike: It's in the same clause of the Constitution which gives grandmas the right to feed cookies and candy to the grandkids an hour before being sent home for dinner.
From the Karoutsos Family:
My six year old son was very fidgety in the dentist's chair. Afterwards the dentist spoke to me and told me of his fidgetiness and said, "Your son did not sit still. It is possibly due to the fact that you home school him."
Mike: I guess he thought that dentistry was so boring he would branch out into child psychology.
From Pam Hynes: I told an old friend from high school how my son was able to progress in each subject at his own rate. She earnestly replied, "What if he learns it all before he finishes high school?"
From the Austin family:
A female public school teacher said, "Your son will turn out to be much too feminine or gay because you home school him. Being with his mother so much is not good for boys."
Mike: I guess that spending ages 5 through 12 with female public school teachers would be better.
From Laurie Winkelmann:
I took my daughter to a podiatrist who specialized in treating plantar warts. I asked how children contracted these warts. He told me that they often come from locker rooms or swimming pools. When I told him that since we home school it wouldn't be a locker room, but we do take a swimming class, he replied, "Yup, home schooling, that certainly explains it."
Mike: Sounds like someone needs to breath a little fresh air between foot examinations.
THIS WEEK'S WINNER
From Dawn Howey:
A Christian friend, "God didn't homeschool Jesus, He sent Him away to school."
Mike: I think the friend needs to be sent away to Sunday School.
Mike Farris is the president of Patrick Henry College and chairman of Home School Legal Defense Association.
(Click HERE for Part 2!)